DISRUPTION

"Man...never perceives anything fully, or comprehends anything completely.  He can see, hear, touch and taste; but how far he sees, how well he hears, what his touch tells him, and what he tastes depend upon the number and quality of his senses."


- CG Jung (Man and His Symbols)

The quality of his senses?  His sense to be sensitive?  Forgive two consecutive quotes, but DaVinci wrote in his notebooks:

"It should not be hard for you to stop sometimes and look into the stains of walls, or ashes of a fire, or clouds, or mud or like places in which...you may find really marvelous ideas."

I think we can all agree the quality of sense in this man was of the original variety of magnificent.  According to a mind of artistic, mathematical and general creative greatness: the mud makes us see.  The ash and fire.  No wonder I am thrown for a loop in this city.  Our mud is graffiti or advertising, our ash is starving men on the subway, our fire is a street exposed argument between lovers.  Our buildings are our clouds.

Jung also said: "As anthropologists have noted, one of the most common mental derangements that occur among primitive people is what they call the loss of the soul--which means, as the name indicates, a noticeable disruption...".  Losing my soul here is, indeed, my greatest fear.  I am able to lose things...    
But ideas are more immediate here because they have been skewed and sewn into secret daily rituals of our own (mostly ridiculous) making.  Attention everyone: We Have Endeavors!  We have shit to do!  So much so it can be seen from space!  We walk and eat and avoid humanity, all while walking and talking of eating and longing for the humanity we are avoiding.  These events are more on fire, more dangerous, because we say they are.  While I long for a soul that does not feel disrupted or dislodged, I feel sometimes I would be less useful to myself were I to move away and be at peace.  How strange that peace can seem selfish, or at least dull...no, terrifying.  But again, "Our psyche is part of nature, and its enigma is limitless".  To be disrupted, to be on fire in this cramped space, is an invitation for nature to use me in its excesses.  I suppose when I can take no more, I will be "selfish" and move away.

"An ability to control one's emotions that may be very desirable from one point of view would be a questionable accomplishment from another, for it would deprive social intercourse of variety, color, and warmth."
 
Good luck, my friends.

~ B